Editor’s note: Sophia A. Nelson is a journalist andBecoming the person you need to be: 21 life lessons learned by caring for everyone but yourself” The views expressed in this comment are her own.view more opinions On CNN.
CNN
—
It’s the start of a new year, and nearly three years after the start of a once-in-a-generation, life-altering pandemic, we’re still navigating our way through it. We have all been affected by the scourge of COVID-19, including illness, hospitalization, death, loneliness, isolation, job separation, and family disruption. Perhaps, like me, you too have contracted coronavirus and are living with its long-term effects.
When the coronavirus outbreak hit, the number of people working in education, nursing, hospitality, and retail – occupations dominated by women – declined. played an appropriate role The burden associated with illness. And no group has felt this more acutely than black and brown women.
Women have a hard time finding balance with self-care Meeting the needs of the family. However, for Black women, juggling these competing needs is often faced with the following backdrop: intergenerational trauma and suppression of their emotions.
In the black community, women perfected obsessive selflessness into an art form. We are so conditioned to meet the needs of others and display superhuman strength that we end up exhausted, emotionally drained, and often unhealthy. I lost friends, sorority sisters, and mentors to strokes from high blood pressure, heart attacks, diabetes complications, and just plain old exhaustion from lack of meaningful self-care.
The impact of environmental stress on Black women is profound. a study By the time black women reach their 50s, they biologically age an additional seven years due to the stress they put on their bodies compared to white women.black women are more likely to die breast cancer, Heart disease and Diabetestoo.
Inger Barnett Zeigler, a clinical psychologist at Northwestern University, noted the downside of viewing strong black women as “cultural icons.” her book“Nobody Knows the Problems I Saw: The Emotional Lives of Black Women.”
“Some Black women don’t have the tools they need to deal with their emotions in a healthy way, and as a result, they eat unhealthy food, drink alcohol, use illegal drugs, become sedentary and become workaholics. “These behaviors may be a band-aid solution to the problem, but they are not a long-term solution,” she said. interview Let’s talk about the works published last year.
So for Black and brown women, focusing on self-care is a matter of survival. But some of us needed an extra wake-up call as we grappled with the pandemic.
My own Covid-19 journey began in February 2020, when I had an early case of the virus, before there were tests or vaccines. I contracted the disease while speaking at a conference in Louisiana. I was sick for a week with high fever, difficulty breathing, and other complications.
I had a second mild case in August 2021 after getting vaccinated and booster shots. He was fortunate not to have to be hospitalized for either episode, but he is still suffering from the long-term effects of COVID-19, including damage to his heart valve and residual problems in his right lung. Living with these vulnerabilities means prioritizing important self-care that you might otherwise neglect.
Self-care doesn’t mean going to the beach or taking a vacation.That is rest.
The self-care that I want Black women to practice is soul-freeing. Something that allows us to be our true selves. It frees us to wear our hair the way we want, speak our truth, seek healthier romantic partners, and make better friends. And it’s self-care that lasts a lifetime.
The good news is that despite these difficult times, there are examples of prominent Black women saying, “Enough is enough. It’s time to put health first.” Women like Olympic gymnast Simone Biles, tennis player Naomi Osaka, and actress Taraji P. Henson have spoken openly about the importance of mental health to overall well-being.
As a black woman now in my 50s, it took me many years to realize that while family and friends are important, I am more important than anything else. She learned that I have a right to joy, peace, and taking care of myself. I wrote about these hard lessons in my fourth book.Be the person you need”
My hope is that by sharing just a few of my own life experiences, I will educate a new generation of Black girls and women to embrace a life full of self-care, hope, joy, and physical and emotional health. , that it can be inspirational.
But even if you’re not black or female, these lessons can be useful to you too. Start by asking yourself three important questions. “What do I want?” What do I need? How do I really feel? Your inner voice will give you the answer. Trust that you can find the courage to follow through with the wisdom you already have.
There are three more things to keep in mind as you focus on your mental health this new year.
1. Self-care is a life strategy for success. It’s important to set healthy boundaries and make sure others respect them. This requires first accepting that you can change and that you can never change others.
2. Prioritize your mental and emotional health above all else. If it’s not good for you, it’s not good for anyone. Just like regularly monitoring your weight, heart health, and blood pressure, mental and emotional health is one of the many “health aspects” you need to take care of.
3. “No” is a complete sentence. This saved me so much heartache, untold anger, and time. I no longer do things I don’t want to do to please others. I only save my energy for things and people who deserve it.
Women in general, and Black women in particular, often find it difficult to say no. But it’s something you sometimes have to do, even when your kids have endless demands, your boss has demands, or a friend who has supported you in the past is in crisis. And the reason for centering your own needs is implied in the following subtitle: my book “Life lessons learned by taking care of everyone but yourself.” That’s simply not sustainable.
generation of black women Our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts gave, ran, lifted, built, sacrificed, Protect yourself and give yourself to those in need. This new year, we all have the opportunity to better ourselves.
